I am at my new job for a whole eight hours today. I’d love to take the opportunity and get lots done, but unfortunately I don’t have access to the system I need to complete THE ONE PROJECT THEY GAVE ME. And no one is here. So I blog…
The Pink Fairy Goes Blue: Yes! You heard it! She got a fantabulous job with The Blue Man Group! Woot! There is absolutely hope for all us schmoes that have a degree and haven’t yet had the chance to use it!
I’m a Yes girl: Even if you don’t have a pristine record, you CAN get a job. I relate to people who have made mistakes. I feel for people who have been fired or misused and abused by former bosses. You’re not a failure—your job history doesn’t have to sparkle, it can absolutely have a patina. We hired someone for my position and even though she had a few marks against her, I really liked her and I think all will work out in the end. I remember when I interviewed for my first job… I totally almost cried because during the interview they asked me about the time I quit without notice! Eek! It was totally traumatizing!
Oh Oprah!: Oprah gets my gears turning every time I watch her show. So far this year I have vowed to cut down on my napkin usage, I have tried to clean with all-natural products and reduce my usage of chemicals, I have switched to a more eco-friendly soaps and detergents, and I only use a soap box if the box is biodegradable. I have also decided that once things calm down a bit, I will look for an opportunity to be a mentor in the community. In July I want to investigate this whole world called retirement savings. I also plan to crack down and finish my Cormac McCarthy books. Actually, I just really need to read all those book club books that I got at Costco in the last couple of years!
TV Time: Now that all my shows are on hiatus, I have some open slots…here’s what I’m filling them with: Top Chef, My Life on the D-List, The Age of Love (it will make you feel smart and beautiful, I swear!) Last Comic Standing, Arrested Development (on DVD!), Coupling (the UK version on DVD), and La Femme Nikita (boy that J.J. is a rip-off!).
What are you guys and gals up to?
Björk will be performing on Saturday Night Live tonight. Be there. Björk is love.
After watching way too many cycles of America’s Next Top Model, I have finally gotten the BF to cross over to the Dark Side. The BF finally found his inner Cha Cha Diva and has been cracking me and everyone I know up with his shtick.
It all started just a few short weeks ago when I was having another massive craving for Lays potato chips. (My cravings began when I interviewed to work as a manager during the graveyard shift at a Lays factory. I didn’t get the job, but since I’m the universe’s bitch sometimes, I can’t seem to go a month without diving into a bag head first.) Anyway, so I was having another couch potato night and I was hoping the BF would join me instead of being productive. He must have read my mind. He turned to me and said, “Do you want to eat a whole bag of potato chips while we watch Top Model? It will be like we’re mocking them.”
After I sufficiently recovered from my laughing induced asthma attack, I sent the BF packing to the store. He bought said bag of chips and we made dip to accompany it. I stuffed myself, we laughed at the stupid things Renee said, and I rooted for Jael. (Yes Lucky 10-Key, I know your position on her, but I like her anyway!) It was good times. For the whole week the BF basked in the glow of his clever joke. I told everyone I knew and it never stopped being funny.
The following Wednesday we went to a retirement party for the BF and Weltsie’s coworker. They served some wicked awesome cake. Generally I find bakery cakes gross, but this cake was delicious and possibly made of an illicit substance. I took home an embarrassingly large chunk of cake home with me. Naturally, the BF suggested we attempt to consume the slab in one sitting for part deux of model-mocking. Of course hilarity ensued!
I guess I figured the line of jokes would stop there. But this week he took it a step further…
Before heading home for the day the BF dropped by his coworker’s office. With a deadpan face he asked Jim if he was going to watch Top Model. Now, you must understand that the BF is a shy techie who works with a bunch of scientists who like to play hacky sack and wear Tevas. So Jim admitted he didn’t know what Top Model was or even what channel it was on. The BF explained the basic premise and that it’s on the CW, the network formerly known as the WB. Like a true scientist his response was, “So it’s like they switched the order of the letters and increased it by one unit.”
Um, yeah…something like that.