First this this morning when I came into the office I was verbally accosted by one of my coworkers.  She was irritated that her office has computers in it.  We provided her office (it’s set up for four people but only two use it currently) with computers but when she and the other visiting scholar arrived they dismantled them and shoved them onto one desk.  So she seems to be upset that now her office looks like a storage space for older model computers.  In our defense, we are public institution so we don’t have the funds to buy new computers all the time.  Yes, we have some computers that are older than three years old.  We even have CRT monitors.  But we think it’s nice to provide a computer for any of our visitors.  It’s their fault the room looks crappy because they dismantled the computers and shoved them aside.  She then proceeded to tell me that she’s embarrassed of the way her office looks and doesn’t want students to see it like that, that it makes her angry and in a bad mood when she’s at work, and like we don’t make her feel welcome in the department.

I have never felt so insulted in my professional life.  The very last thing I would think anyone would accuse me or my department of is being “unwelcoming.”  I seethed with anger and politely said that if she took such issue she should bring it up with my supervisor.  I then told her I was sorry she didn’t feel welcome.  I walked away calmly and just reeled.  I don’t want to make broad stroke statements

No one else is here today except one other professor so I talked to her about the situation.  She was flabbergasted.  She listened to me and let me vent.  We talked about the rampant sense of entitlement in academia–with graduate students especially.  Although I see it as a pattern that only gets worse when they are full fledged professors.  My friends and I call it the Poof Effect.  They ask/announce/demand something to happen and “poof” it gets done, almost always because a staff person does it for them…

Anyway, back to the point…it’s not a nice way to start the day with complaints.  My lesson as of late has been to not be filled with rage, but to instead be amused when these types of situations arise.  Some people go through life thinking that others should bend to their will, thinking that they are so special and simple manners are beneath them.  But the joke, in the end, is on them.  They alone live in bizzaro world and I live in a normal, if somewhat ideal world, where honey catches more flies than vinegar.

Part deux occured while trying to type this post…  I had another run it with this visiting scholar and she somewhat apologized.  She said she was sorry for taking out her frustration on me, but then we somehow got back into the disagreement and it was entirely awkward.  We may have had the same discussion, but I learned new lesson.  Petty disagreements are feuled by insecurity.  I will probably never reslove this woman’s issues because her angst is not really about the extra computers in her office.  She is insecure because she doesn’t know what she is doing and feels powerless.

Now, if I was paid for my skills in psychoanalysis then I’d make a fortune.  But since I don’t, I guess I’ll have to live off the feeling of being smugly confident in who I am and what I do.

supervisor from hell:  WHERE IS THE SAMPLE ADMISSIONS LETTER YOU CAME UP WITH?

me:  IN THE FILE SHARE IN THE ADMISSIONS FOLDER (why does she even need to know this?!  she has done nothing regarding admissions)

supervisor from hell:  I CAN’T FIND IT.

me:  IT’S IN THE ADMISSIONS FOLDER, RIGHT–HERE–JUST, HOLD ON, I’LL JUST EMAIL IT TO YOU. (why do you even need this!?  why are you bugging me?)

supervisor from hell:  WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  (standing in my door way)

me:  (not looking at her, working at my computer)  I’M TRYING TO SEND THE ADMIT LETTERS BEFORE THE END OF THE DAY.  I’M FORMATTING THE LETTERS AND THEN CONVERTING THEM TO PDF–

supervisor from hell:  –YOU SHOULD REALLY CONVERT THEM TO PDF.  THAT’S WHAT THEY DO IN THE OTHER DEPARTMENTS–

me:  –I KNOW.  I AM.  I SENT THAT FILE YOU ASKED FOR.  IT SHOULD BE IN YOUR EMAIL INBOX NOW.  (get out of my office.  why are you bugging me!!?)

supervisor from hell:  OH YOU ARE SO SMART.  SEE, I DON’T EVEN HAVE TO TELL YOU.  I DON’T KNOW WHY I COULDN’T FIND THAT FILE BEFORE.  THANKS.  HOW WEIRD.  DO YOU NEED HELP?

me:  (it’s 4:47.  i have worked all day and all of Monday trying to accomplish this stuff.  not once have you asked if i needed help.  this is just like that time you asked me if i needed help on a friday at 6:45 pm and i’d been staying late every day that week.)  I’M FINE.  I’M ALMOST DONE.

supervisor from hell:  YOU’RE AMAZING.  I TOLD THE WHOLE STAFF.  IT’S LIKE YOU’RE A PRO.  (yes, you sent out a thank you email to me and then decided to send it to everyone so you resent it to show everyone what an amazing supervisor you are and how kind you are to bestow your gratitude.)

me:  (looking at the clock.)  I’M DONE.  I WANT TO GO HOME NOW.

supervisor from hell:  YOU SHOULD GO HOME.  YOU’VE BEEN WORKING SO HARD.  LET’S WALK TO THE PARKING LOT TOGETHER.

me:  (great…)

I don’t know what other tactics I can employ to get my supervisor to leave me alone so I can do my work.  Even if I close my office door she’ll just knock on it and let herself in.  It’s so aggravating.  Suggestions?

Yesterday I talked to two well-meaning (I’m sure) students.  They said all sorts of ridiculous things, but it got me questioning again what I’m doing with my life.  Generally I love advising students, but sometimes I wonder if what I do will make a difference with people like this:

Girl Friday:  (in a calming voice) It’s ok that you don’t know what job you want after college, but close your eyes and tell me what is the biggest thing you could dream for yourself.

Student 1:  I see myself homeless.  I think I’d like that.

Girl Friday:  (incredulous) Honey, you don’t need a college degree if you want to be homeless.

Student 1:  I mean I don’t want to have a home.  I want to travel.

Girl Friday:  Ok, have you considered studying abroad?

Student 1:  No, I definitely don’t want to study abroad.

Girl Friday:  (confused) You want to travel but you don’t want to take the opportunity to study and travel at the same time…?

The conversation went on like this for some time.  It ended on this cherry:

Student 1:  I don’t want to be one of those people who works in an office and does boring stuff all day and leads a meaningless life.  I feel sorry for those people.

Girl Friday:  (examines her tiny office and stacks of boring paper) So basically you don’t want to end up like me–

Student 1: –Not like you!  I mean…

She suffered from a true case of foot in mouthitis.

My next conversation came on the heels of that train wreck…

Student 2:  So, I noticed that your program is small, does that mean it’s not competitive since no one wants to be in it?

Girl Friday:  (inward groan)  Aren’t these the kind of things you ask Admissions before applying?  (feeling rather put out already)  You shouldn’t be judging our program based on the student class size, in fact, being small is a good thing!  Have you considered the quality of the teaching faculty?  That is more important than how many students we admit.

Student 2:  I think a lot of guys try to get admitted into Women’s Studies because they think it’s funny.

Girl Friday:  I think your friends are joking with you.  What prospective student would do something that inane?

Student 2:  (laughs insipidly) …

And curtain!

So there you have it.  Two people who live their lives carelessly and say whatever comes to mind.  Well, it’s my turn now.

You suck.  Like majorly.