It’s Sunday evening and I have been the most unproductive girl this weekend. I caught up on my socializing, but that’s about it. It seems like every few weeks though I write something about my incredible skill of procrastination. Here are all the things I didn’t do this weekend:
1. Clean the apartment (includes vacuuming, mopping, scrubbing the bathroom from top to bottom, and purifying the kitchen of all things icky)
2. Purge my closet of clothes that I haven’t worn in a year or more
3. Decorate the patio
4. Write my great American novel
5. Get in shape
6. Adopt healthy lifestyle
7. Organize my life by the Dewey Decimal System ala Parker Posey in Party Girl
8. Achieve my own Zen lifestyle
9. Call my mother for my weekly browbeating
10. Become a fully-realized woman (stop swearing, participating in burping contests, and whining like a child when I don’t get my way)
The list is extensive, but I really think that if I weren’t so distracted by pretty, shiny objects like the TV and computer screen, I might actually get something done! I think that maybe if I do number seven and eight from the list, the other items will come naturally.
To put things in perspective, here is a list of the things I did accomplish this weekend:
1. Went to happy hour with Latte Lady and met her coworkers
2. Saw three hours of Colin Firth and played a key role in the peanut gallery during Pride & Prejudice viewing party
3. Cooked gourmet waffles for boyfriend
4. Chatted with Violet the Bohemian for four hours over coffee
5. Ordered massive amount of Chinese takeout and watched massive amounts of TV with Latte Lady
6. Caught up on The Internet
7. Did the weekly Costco run to stock up on essentials like coffee and bacon (seriously, life on the Oregon Trail is tough!)
8. Played phone tag with Lucky 10-Key and decided it’s been much too long since we went shopping together and had time to just hang out
9. Did my duty as recording secretary (Seriously? Seriously!) and typed up some minutes
10. Experimented with cosmetics to find a new look and decided to go with 50’s Barbie Doll (black eyeliner, thick mascara, rouge, red lipstick)
Who am I kidding? I had a great weekend! I’ll start the week anew and attempt productivity next weekend.
Currently playing: Beth Orton, Stars All Seem to Weep
Hi! I only have fifteen minutes to write before I can officially bolt out the door and meet Latte Lady for drinks. Woo hoo! As an extra treat after drinks, I’m going to watch the greatest love story of all time–Pride and Prejudice!
But let us be serious for a moment and consider this crazy thing called love. Mary Schmich said, “Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.” It’s an easy enough concept to understand, but why is it such hard advice to follow? I guess that’s the universal struggle. It’s easy to just accept crumbs of affection and so very hard to demand more; but don’t forget that Maureen Dowd said, “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.”
And on that note, be happy and love much!
Today is our day ladies (and gentlemen)! It’s the one-day of the year that our bosses feign love and adoration for their right hand people. Okay, so some of us are luckier than others and are appreciated throughout the year.
My wish for you, my fair friend, is a lovely day where your inbox is miraculously empty, your desk is spotless, the phones are quiet, and stupid comments are kept to a minimum. I don’t think that’s too much to ask!
Since I can’t be with you to make your day special, let’s pretend! Oh how I love my fictional world!
We’d start the day at 10 AM not 8 AM—because we need our beauty sleep! After we were sufficiently pampered by with a massage, facial, mani/pedi and had our hair and makeup done, we’d meet for lunch! Our lovely lunch would be at some swanky place like Hotel Gansevoort in New York City. We’d sit poolside and chat about our latest dalliances with important people and our escapades to chic places. After we tired of the magnificent views and hot waiters, we’d go shopping! We’d hit the requisite places like Bloomingdales in SoHo, Louis Vuitton, and Sephora. On our way to Pastis for our late afternoon cappuccino, we’d hang out with Helena (Christensen that is—we’re on a first-names basis) at her store Butik and try on some vintage Danish dresses. After rubbing elbows with the tragically hip we’d gather up our spoils and head back to the hotel for cocktails! Martinis in hues of the rainbow and precious bite-sized foods would float past us on trays and we could sample each and every one. We’d remain only buzzed and giddy, never crossing the line into dramatically drunk. Every fabulous Superheroine would join us at the party! Sometime around 4 AM we would stumble into our plush beds and sleep the deep slumber of women who have the day off from work.
That’s my version of the perfect Administrative Professionals Day. I love it, no matter how unrealistic. Cheers!
Currently playing: Björk, Hidden Place
