The Agency hounded Girl Friday relentlessly all week by because she is their prized Superheroine of Small Offices Everywhere! They told her in detailed messages that one hopeless worker couldn’t (and I quote), GET THE PHONES. Girl Friday wonders if perhaps her hands were trapped inside cement blocks, or if by “get” they meant she didn’t understand the concept of answering a ringing phone. Well, we can’t all be Superheroines! Still, Girl Friday hardly feels compelled to do The Agency any favors after the way they harassed her earlier in the week when she told them she was (gasp!) busy. In addition, The Agency snubbed Latte Lady, and that my friends, is unacceptable. Latte Lady ran the gamut this week and escaped mostly unscathed. Believe it or not the high point of her week was when she was mistakenly held at gunpoint by local police officers, and the low point was when she rescinded her two weeks notice…brutal. With two such renegade Superheroines on the lamb, no mild mannered HR Manager is safe.
Monthly Archive for October, 2005
Girl Friday is currently on hiatus from Small Offices Everywhere. Normally she works from home, although today she has staked out a table at a downtown coffee shop. Amidst the blenders blending, the milk steamer steaming, and the students studying, Girl Friday is musing about her current state of being and working on that damned novel. She finds her work feeds the soul but not always the stomach. She prefers her makeshift offices to those of the lunes she has more than once frequented. Just the other day she visited her former coworkers and witnessed the grotesque mismanagement that more than a few places of business are under. She did, however, score some sweet candy. Got to love Halloween!
Girl Friday finds herself missing interaction with people. Gasp! Girl Friday isn’t quite the misanthrope you may think. Her dialogue is mainly one-sided now as she yells at her favorite TV characters. Does anyone else besides Girl Friday question Rory’s length of bangs or wonder if Stephen is ever going to admit his undying love for LC? With few people to share her pop culture concerns, Girl Friday has ferociously read and hypothesized about the threads on E Online’s message boards.
While Girl Friday’s current office situation lacks coworkers, it does provide a free gym membership (a treadmill and a nice selection of Pilates DVDs), convenient parking, casual dress code (pajamas before noon are quite acceptable), and flexible hours (work starts when she feels like it and ends when her carpal tunnel pains flare up). With the compensation and benefits package to be determined, it is clear that Girl Friday is either bold and daring or dumb and foolish. The jury is still out on that one.
Another random amenity that Girl Friday misses is water delivery service. The Brita filter runs a distant second to spring water at the proverbial water cooler. Though the list sounds lengthy, don’t think for a second that Girl Friday will enthusiastically return to the (paid) workforce. Being a Superheroine is tough work, especially in Small Offices Everywhere. Girl Friday is desperately hoping for a promotion to Superheroine of All Things New and Exciting!!!!!!!
Girl Friday took the weekend to decompress after finishing three grueling days at The Bank. The Office aka The Basement housed thousands of boxes of important files, rickety chairs long abandoned, and holiday decorations. Girl Friday whined and cursed at herself for taking on the suspiciously well-compensated assignment. She’ll never fall into that trap again! On the plus side, Girl Friday padded her bank account for Christmas and sampled the delectable baked goods from the pastry shop next to The Bank.
Upon arriving for her first day, Girl Friday waited in the reception area of the division where was she formerly employed. The executives and drones were just as friendly as she remembered. They passed her in silence and inwardly resented her for crumpling the L.A. Times. Girl Friday spent forty minutes reading about the dwindling restaurant business and a biting review of a “too cute” television show she had already penciled into her nightly line-up.
At 9 AM when her supervisor finally graced the office, Girl Friday headed over to the main branch’s basement/records department. There were signs of danger all about the place. An oversized headstone proclaimed, “I am dead,” and a chalkboard forewarned of vampires (an arrow had been drawn for emphasis) marked the hallway. Despite her misgivings, Girl Friday marched on, armed with one Bic pen to complete the arduous inventory task. The dank basement spooked Girl Friday, making every aisle dark territory and every noise a haunting creak. Girl Friday came prepared for solitude; she had her iPod charged and ready. Alone in the basement, Girl Friday used the long expanses of concrete to practice ballet and the poor acoustics of the place to belt out her favorite tunes.
Long coffee breaks were a daily ritual for Girl Friday. Iced coffees, croissants, and dreams of Parisian paradise broke up the monotony of copying and cross checking. Lunchtime was a feast everyday with The BF. The restaurants transported Girl Friday from the basement to a sleek sushi bar in Tokyo or a rustic cocina in Oaxaca. Girl Friday is nothing, if not imaginative.
Girl Friday wished to complain about the lax security, but found it worked to her advantage since she could come and go as she pleased. Girl Friday wished the break room wasn’t also the mailroom and a veteran employee’s office. Girl Friday wished her supervisor realized she was dealing with a real-live Superheroine. None of these wishes mattered much, but her final wish, that the job would just end already, did come true.
It’s Monday and Girl Friday is back at her trusty desk typing away about this latest misadventure and couldn’t be more content.